im annoying but im glad im not this agressively annoying

im glad i don't have some chestnut of banter that i always say when i end a conversation or leave a building or whatever.

like, there's a guy that always says 'saw you later' when he leaves my work. or, a lot of old people think its cute to say 'dont do anything i wouldn't do' when they leave my work. its kind of sad in a way because that kind of shit is all these old bastards have now.

'dont do anything i wouldn't do' is supposed to insinuate that this guy saying it (the billionth fucking guy to say it and they are all anciently elderly) is one wild bastard. its all he has.

every once in awhile one of these guys gets played up by the nurses as 'oh what a practical jokester, hes the funny guy'. whenever i finally meet that dude he's always just desperately hanging on to what ever humor he has left, because life is scary and hes in a scary part of life. so they kind of heave jokes at you in halting speech and its always like, a nock-nock joke.

so, im just grateful that i don't say 'saw you later' to people when i leave a place. im sure theres some supposedly witty back-story or detail or reason why this douche says 'saw you later', maybe he works with a saw or something. im not going to indulge him in his cute little back-story.

i swear to god as i was writing this, another old guy left my work. he was compelled to tell me "don't fall asleep there or they'll make you wear a seat-belt". which makes very little sense but hey, i'll play along. im a nice person.

watermelon crawl

i know, you had hoped i wouldn't ever post here again. i almost didn't. but then god shook me out of my cave with the vibrations of a new, shitty country song, that i had to suffer at work today. so im sharing the love by mentioning it to you. have you ever been in a situation where you HAD to listen to some shitty music, and you knew it would be shitty, but then there's one turd in the bunch that just really crosses the line? and you had prepared yourself this afternoon, and you still went 'what the fuck is that'.

i introduce you to tracy byrd's "watermelon crawl". side note to tracy byrd, i hope you took that name off a porn. the watermelon crawl is apparently.. crawling across the ground? possibly while drunk? i'll let the song explain:

When the band started playing the watermelon queen said
Let me show you something that you ain't never seen
She grabbed me by the arm said come on let's go
She dipped down spun around and doe-see-doed
She rocked back on her heels dropped down to her knees
Crawled across the floor then she jumped back on her feet
She wiggled and she giggled beat all you ever saw
Said this is how you do the watermelon crawl

.

what? fuajl;kklasjkls

.

what?

She said we got a hundred gallons of sweet red wine
Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine
Help yourself to some but obey the law
If you drink don't drive do the watermelon crawl

i'm really at a loss. maybe you have to hear this as well to get the full effect, but im not about to reccommend that. seriously though what a fucking dumb song. and i want to be clear that the 'dont drink and drive' message is the one good thing in it, i have no beef with that. but god. if you're going to dissuade me from drinking and driving, write a better song around that message.

awesome.

ridiculous claim wednesday

the seminal classic rock song 'smoke on the water' by deep purple is actually about the life of anne frank.

in other news i can post to blogger, just not view my blog. which is oddly unsatisfying.

a haiku about blogger

my page loaded once
right after my complaining
just to bite its thumb


but we're back to not being able to see my new posts, which doesn't stop me from posting.

im going to get a random six pack this afternoon. forgetting for a moment that you won't be able to post in time to persuade me (im off work in about a half hour or so), please reccommend what beer i should try.

ive been eyeing @ the liquor warehouse: mendecino county products, negro modelo, spaten pils.