stay away from 312 urban wheat ale from goose island beer company. i tried it this weekend, sessioned the six-pack, and came away thoroughly underwhelmed.
i had previously avoided this beer for 2 reasons, a) it was marketed as 'urban', and b) it looked really really light, even for a wheat beer. the info on the company website, however, told me that 312 was unfiltered, 'hazy' even, so i was hopeful when i busted the six-pack out, to find: an 'unfiltered' beer that looks filtered yet. there are some consolation flakes of yeast or chaff or whatever, floating amidst the bubbles of a mostly crystal-clear beer, but you're going to have to take a close look to notice them. taste-wise the 312 is just completely non-descript.
am i being spoiled by paulaner hefeweisen, with the sediment you have to churn up out of the bottle? it makes a wonderful taste cloud in that ale. though less full of taste than the paulaner, schlafly's hefeweisen still out-performed 312, from what i recall.
i need more of a taste profile in my wheat beer. like sunshine, from new belgium brewing. filtered, yet distinctive enough with its coriander/orange peel taste, to not get boring.
goose island are usually pretty good and i enjoyed their brown ale but not 312 urban wheat.
Monday
Thursday
state of the nation fireside chat #2
more random bits today instead of real (ha!) content.
-O.J. simpson back in the news and i could not care less, absolutely could not care less. i'm thinking about starting an extra theme for posts, "i dont give a shit". i dont give a shit #1 would be oj stealing sports memorabilia from a casino. this is pathetic for news, how is it that they can't find something else to talk about? what a scam. the news is a shell game run by the pentaverate.
-there's a story on cnn online about october being a big beer month (link provided here) and inside the article there's a nifty statistic listed:
"There were 364 microbreweries and 975 brewpubs operating in the U.S. in 2006 pumping out 6.7 million barrels, according to the Brewers Association." take that for what you will, i have no analysis.
-how do you feel about instrumental music? i like instrumentals, not that i dont like vocals. but porsche had real trouble listening to anything that doesnt have lyrics. what up with that? i think of getting to a point where you have the patience for an instrumental, as being a growth thing, where your ability to appreciate music has grown by another stage.
-we're going to try and have people over to the house saturday to hang out, eat some burgers, maybe drink a lil, and just sit around and shoot the shit. if you are interested gimme a call, 417 840 8530. or email wstrad@citizensmemorial.com for more info.
-O.J. simpson back in the news and i could not care less, absolutely could not care less. i'm thinking about starting an extra theme for posts, "i dont give a shit". i dont give a shit #1 would be oj stealing sports memorabilia from a casino. this is pathetic for news, how is it that they can't find something else to talk about? what a scam. the news is a shell game run by the pentaverate.
-there's a story on cnn online about october being a big beer month (link provided here) and inside the article there's a nifty statistic listed:
"There were 364 microbreweries and 975 brewpubs operating in the U.S. in 2006 pumping out 6.7 million barrels, according to the Brewers Association." take that for what you will, i have no analysis.
-how do you feel about instrumental music? i like instrumentals, not that i dont like vocals. but porsche had real trouble listening to anything that doesnt have lyrics. what up with that? i think of getting to a point where you have the patience for an instrumental, as being a growth thing, where your ability to appreciate music has grown by another stage.
-we're going to try and have people over to the house saturday to hang out, eat some burgers, maybe drink a lil, and just sit around and shoot the shit. if you are interested gimme a call, 417 840 8530. or email wstrad@citizensmemorial.com for more info.
Wednesday
stay away #5
stay away from pumpkin ale.
for about 3 years in a row, every fall, i would get suckered into purchasing a six-pack of pumpkin-spiced beer. hey, i like beer, i like seasonal brews, i like weird stuff. pumpkin certainly sounds weird, and the brands i usually see are buffalo bill's and blue moon--guys i like--so what's the harm?
well i usually get through the first bottle and then it hits me: drinking pumpkin ale is like drinking a spice rack. like someone took a flavor packet that should have gone into pie, and just dumped it in. i have one word for you: grainy.
all in all, pumpkin beers sound great and then later you are just scratching your head going 'why?' as you stare at the 4 spice-laden bottles you have left.
for about 3 years in a row, every fall, i would get suckered into purchasing a six-pack of pumpkin-spiced beer. hey, i like beer, i like seasonal brews, i like weird stuff. pumpkin certainly sounds weird, and the brands i usually see are buffalo bill's and blue moon--guys i like--so what's the harm?
well i usually get through the first bottle and then it hits me: drinking pumpkin ale is like drinking a spice rack. like someone took a flavor packet that should have gone into pie, and just dumped it in. i have one word for you: grainy.
all in all, pumpkin beers sound great and then later you are just scratching your head going 'why?' as you stare at the 4 spice-laden bottles you have left.
check out #8
check out these beers! writing the entry for honker's ale reminded me that i used to do a '20 good beers' list on the first iteration of this blog. here's my new list of 20, its not definitive (or in any particular order) but i think each entry is a good call.
paulaner munchen hefeweisen
sierra nevada pale ale
guinness draught (in the cans, NOT the bottles)
boddingtons (also in cute lil draught cans)
old speckled hen
bell's two hearted ale
genesee cream ale
hoegaarden
schlafly summer kolsch
pilsner urquell
bell's oberon ale
schlafly winter ESB
samuel adams boston lager
newcastle
old rasputin imperial stout
sunshine wheat by new belgium brewing
bell's expedition stout
samuel smith's oatmeal stout
bufallo bill's orange blossom cream ale
hitachino white ale
now remember, no order and not definitive. there are other good beers out there. these just come to mind this morning.
to see reviews and ratings on these, or any other beer for that matter, point your browser in the direction of either of these sites:
-the beer advocate-
-rate beer-
where you will find searchable databases and all other sorts of beer goodies. be warned that certain parts of each site will require you to register with the site. i like searching the beer advocate database, but don't want to register with that site, so ive found a handy shortcut: if you're looking for a specific beer, you can just use google. for example, if you want to see the BA entry for honker's ale, just google "honker's ale beer advocate" and the entry should pop up in your results.
PROST!
paulaner munchen hefeweisen
sierra nevada pale ale
guinness draught (in the cans, NOT the bottles)
boddingtons (also in cute lil draught cans)
old speckled hen
bell's two hearted ale
genesee cream ale
hoegaarden
schlafly summer kolsch
pilsner urquell
bell's oberon ale
schlafly winter ESB
samuel adams boston lager
newcastle
old rasputin imperial stout
sunshine wheat by new belgium brewing
bell's expedition stout
samuel smith's oatmeal stout
bufallo bill's orange blossom cream ale
hitachino white ale
now remember, no order and not definitive. there are other good beers out there. these just come to mind this morning.
to see reviews and ratings on these, or any other beer for that matter, point your browser in the direction of either of these sites:
-the beer advocate-
-rate beer-
where you will find searchable databases and all other sorts of beer goodies. be warned that certain parts of each site will require you to register with the site. i like searching the beer advocate database, but don't want to register with that site, so ive found a handy shortcut: if you're looking for a specific beer, you can just use google. for example, if you want to see the BA entry for honker's ale, just google "honker's ale beer advocate" and the entry should pop up in your results.
PROST!
stay away #4
stay away from talking like a pirate today. please. PLEASE. its more than i can take, for something that was a little funny at first to be latched onto like this, and continued for so long past its welcome. stop talking like a fucking pirate on september 19th. i implore you.
why would you want to join a bunch of hollow, brain-dead college coeds and bored high-schoolers, in celebrating a holiday invented in 1995 (and here comes the important part)by THESE guys:

come on now. im pretty sure i have no interest in anything those guys invented. and i have no interest in you throwing 'ARRR ME BUCKO' into your conversation.
of particular note, the 'talk like a pirate day' wikipedia entry includes a link, in the 'see also' section, to wikipedia's entry for homosexuality. proving that wikipedia is sometimes almost more than correct.
why would you want to join a bunch of hollow, brain-dead college coeds and bored high-schoolers, in celebrating a holiday invented in 1995 (and here comes the important part)by THESE guys:

come on now. im pretty sure i have no interest in anything those guys invented. and i have no interest in you throwing 'ARRR ME BUCKO' into your conversation.
of particular note, the 'talk like a pirate day' wikipedia entry includes a link, in the 'see also' section, to wikipedia's entry for homosexuality. proving that wikipedia is sometimes almost more than correct.
check out #7
check out honker's ale from goose island beer company. being an idiot, i thought that this was a new offering when i saw it at the grocery; turns out that honker's ale is the first product that goose island ever offered. shame on me for taking so long to try it. its even an ESB, which is just my style (here i was waiting for schlafly winter ESB to come out in november, and goose island sells their ESB year-round!).
i was well pleased by honkers, its like a british pale ale with a little malt balance and low carbonation. the hops taste is sharp enough that it reminds me a little of sierra nevada pale ale. this pronounced hoppiness makes me want to do a comparison taste-testing, between GI honkers and GI's india pale ale, to get a clearer indication of what the differences are.
i WILL still be waiting for november for the schlafly winter ESB. not that honker's doesn't deliver, its just that schlafly's take on the style is PHENOMENAL. honker's will do a fine job of tiding me over until then, though.
i would definitely reccommend honkers to someone who likes amber-style or british ales, as long as they are ok with a little hops bite. its not overwhelming but its definitely there.
PS-props to goose island for labelling all their beers with a glassware suggestion. that kicks ass.
i was well pleased by honkers, its like a british pale ale with a little malt balance and low carbonation. the hops taste is sharp enough that it reminds me a little of sierra nevada pale ale. this pronounced hoppiness makes me want to do a comparison taste-testing, between GI honkers and GI's india pale ale, to get a clearer indication of what the differences are.
i WILL still be waiting for november for the schlafly winter ESB. not that honker's doesn't deliver, its just that schlafly's take on the style is PHENOMENAL. honker's will do a fine job of tiding me over until then, though.
i would definitely reccommend honkers to someone who likes amber-style or british ales, as long as they are ok with a little hops bite. its not overwhelming but its definitely there.
PS-props to goose island for labelling all their beers with a glassware suggestion. that kicks ass.
Friday
stay away #3
stay away from banquet's family size 'creamy broccoli chicken and cheese with rice' microwave meal.
the shit is vile. it is impressively bad when you can get a 'mushy tasteless mashed potatoes' texture out of food that doesn't actually contain mashed potatoes. my usual trick, over-cooking the meal by about twice, still yielded a tasteless mush. the chicken is of the 'grey, cubed' variety. i salvaged some of the cheese, where it could be picked from the top without getting a grey deathcube, and trashed the rest. god banquet, this sucked horribly. i know it was cheap but man. what do you have against poor kids?
the shit is vile. it is impressively bad when you can get a 'mushy tasteless mashed potatoes' texture out of food that doesn't actually contain mashed potatoes. my usual trick, over-cooking the meal by about twice, still yielded a tasteless mush. the chicken is of the 'grey, cubed' variety. i salvaged some of the cheese, where it could be picked from the top without getting a grey deathcube, and trashed the rest. god banquet, this sucked horribly. i know it was cheap but man. what do you have against poor kids?
state of the nation fireside chat #1
you may have noticed (or you may have not) that i am trying out a format for the blog, whereby the posts are going to be a little more focused, and split into one of several series:
-"check out", wherein i will implore you to 'check out x', usually something i am strongly interested in at the time.
-"stay away", wherein i will warn you to 'stay away from x', usually something that hacks me off, or is of poor quality.
-"state of the nation fireside chat", wherein i will give random status updates, and mention things that i don't quite want to fit into the other categories.
so, thats the plan for now. some random notes for this friday, before we conclude:
-i've been trying this novel thing, where a day passes by without me consuming any alcoholic beverages. those familiar with me in the last 5 or so years may pass out after reading that; smelling salts may be obtained by their concerned loved ones by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to jesus. anyways, seriously, its been 3 days since i had anything to drink, and before that i had a whole week going, i think. its friday though and i'm going to get a six-pack this afternoon. still, thats a far cry from getting a six pack or bottle of wine, nearly every damn day, for the last forever. its been nearly two weeks and all ive had is one bottle of wine (rosemount 2004, which made me rethink how much i liked the 2005. how the fuck is there so much variability in wine?) and the beer this evening.
-the rental place (enterprise) that supplied me with car when mine got hit by a jackass sports-car idiot, is now trying to dick me around on the bill, so ive been dealing with that this week. it does not excuse the lack of posting in the latter part, but hey. what has occurred is the asshole's insurance (AAA) set me up with enterprise, and then the enterprise guy told me that i had to take out insurance on the rental for it to be legal. now that im billed, it turns out that the insurance was listed as an optional thing, so AAA isn't going to pay for it. it also turns out that enterprise is charging me for two extra days of rental. so in the end, THE INSURANCE OF THE DICK-HOLE WHO WRECKED INTO MY CAR is going to pay for UNDER HALF of the bill from the rental car THEY SET UP FOR ME. so im a little bothered by that.
-kit kat, my beloved older cat, is limping around, not using her front left paw. and i am scared as shit about it. i've got an appointment to take her to the vet next week. she will move her arm and extend it, and doesnt seem like anything hurts her unless you want to look at that paw, but she won't put any weight on the arm; shes just got it hanging. but again, she can move it and doesn't seem averse to moving it around, or having it be in different degrees of bend.
still its my kitty and shes old and im scared. i want my kitty to be ok. shes kind of keeping to herself and its scary.
-i know i already mentioned getting beer this afternoon, but i wanted to speak specifically about my selection. i'm going to be selecting a beer @ woods grocery, and they have an OK selection, nothing spectacular but good for a grocer. im still not certain but i've narrowed down my choices to: goose island nut brown ale, goose island honker's ale, sam adams brown ale or sam adams boston lager. it'd be my first time trying either of the goose island selections; i may try the honkers because i read that its an ESB (extra special bitter) and i dig that style of ale. infact as soon as november hits, i'll be stocking up on possibly my favorite local beer: Schlafly's winter ESB, which won't be available until then.
hope your weekend is nice, if you are in the bolivar area and want to hang out and shoot some pool, gimme a ring: 417 840 8530. i'll give you directions to the farmhouse.
prost!
-"check out", wherein i will implore you to 'check out x', usually something i am strongly interested in at the time.
-"stay away", wherein i will warn you to 'stay away from x', usually something that hacks me off, or is of poor quality.
-"state of the nation fireside chat", wherein i will give random status updates, and mention things that i don't quite want to fit into the other categories.
so, thats the plan for now. some random notes for this friday, before we conclude:
-i've been trying this novel thing, where a day passes by without me consuming any alcoholic beverages. those familiar with me in the last 5 or so years may pass out after reading that; smelling salts may be obtained by their concerned loved ones by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to jesus. anyways, seriously, its been 3 days since i had anything to drink, and before that i had a whole week going, i think. its friday though and i'm going to get a six-pack this afternoon. still, thats a far cry from getting a six pack or bottle of wine, nearly every damn day, for the last forever. its been nearly two weeks and all ive had is one bottle of wine (rosemount 2004, which made me rethink how much i liked the 2005. how the fuck is there so much variability in wine?) and the beer this evening.
-the rental place (enterprise) that supplied me with car when mine got hit by a jackass sports-car idiot, is now trying to dick me around on the bill, so ive been dealing with that this week. it does not excuse the lack of posting in the latter part, but hey. what has occurred is the asshole's insurance (AAA) set me up with enterprise, and then the enterprise guy told me that i had to take out insurance on the rental for it to be legal. now that im billed, it turns out that the insurance was listed as an optional thing, so AAA isn't going to pay for it. it also turns out that enterprise is charging me for two extra days of rental. so in the end, THE INSURANCE OF THE DICK-HOLE WHO WRECKED INTO MY CAR is going to pay for UNDER HALF of the bill from the rental car THEY SET UP FOR ME. so im a little bothered by that.
-kit kat, my beloved older cat, is limping around, not using her front left paw. and i am scared as shit about it. i've got an appointment to take her to the vet next week. she will move her arm and extend it, and doesnt seem like anything hurts her unless you want to look at that paw, but she won't put any weight on the arm; shes just got it hanging. but again, she can move it and doesn't seem averse to moving it around, or having it be in different degrees of bend.
still its my kitty and shes old and im scared. i want my kitty to be ok. shes kind of keeping to herself and its scary.
-i know i already mentioned getting beer this afternoon, but i wanted to speak specifically about my selection. i'm going to be selecting a beer @ woods grocery, and they have an OK selection, nothing spectacular but good for a grocer. im still not certain but i've narrowed down my choices to: goose island nut brown ale, goose island honker's ale, sam adams brown ale or sam adams boston lager. it'd be my first time trying either of the goose island selections; i may try the honkers because i read that its an ESB (extra special bitter) and i dig that style of ale. infact as soon as november hits, i'll be stocking up on possibly my favorite local beer: Schlafly's winter ESB, which won't be available until then.
hope your weekend is nice, if you are in the bolivar area and want to hang out and shoot some pool, gimme a ring: 417 840 8530. i'll give you directions to the farmhouse.
prost!
check out #6
check out john k's blog.
mr Kricfalusi may be best known as the creator of ren and stimpy; he was also highly involved with ralph bakshi's mighty mouse, which older heads may remember. his blog, 'all kinds of stuff', is about all kinds of stuff, oddly enough. but, predictably, he has a lot of interesting things to say about animation in particular. i would almost call him an animation historian.
so check it out!
mr Kricfalusi may be best known as the creator of ren and stimpy; he was also highly involved with ralph bakshi's mighty mouse, which older heads may remember. his blog, 'all kinds of stuff', is about all kinds of stuff, oddly enough. but, predictably, he has a lot of interesting things to say about animation in particular. i would almost call him an animation historian.
so check it out!
check out #5
check out this upcoming event for michael jackson, the beer hunter.
the who?
michael jackson, you bastard, the beer hunter. he literally wrote the book on modern ale/beer styles. he also, in later years, reviewed a lot of single malt scotch whiskey, and that is also commendable. but he will be known to the ages as a beer expert.
mr. jackson's beer book, with its descriptions of various styles of ale, became kind of a blue-print for many home- and micro-brewers. he is probably the single biggest reason why beer lovers have it as good as they do right now. he's at least partially responsible for there being such an amazing diversity of high-quality beers available today, also for the fact that i have glassware in my household designed specifically for beer. read more about the man in hisa wikipedia entry.
mr. jackson died at the end of last month, and as detailed in the first link i posted, a world-wide toast for michael is being planned, for the end of this month.
the who?
michael jackson, you bastard, the beer hunter. he literally wrote the book on modern ale/beer styles. he also, in later years, reviewed a lot of single malt scotch whiskey, and that is also commendable. but he will be known to the ages as a beer expert.
mr. jackson's beer book, with its descriptions of various styles of ale, became kind of a blue-print for many home- and micro-brewers. he is probably the single biggest reason why beer lovers have it as good as they do right now. he's at least partially responsible for there being such an amazing diversity of high-quality beers available today, also for the fact that i have glassware in my household designed specifically for beer. read more about the man in hisa wikipedia entry.
mr. jackson died at the end of last month, and as detailed in the first link i posted, a world-wide toast for michael is being planned, for the end of this month.
Tuesday
check out #4
check out some mini-comics! before the internet, i would have had to travel far out of my way to find a minis-friendly comic store, to facilitate buying a few. now you can order a bundle of them online!
size matters is a blog that reviews mini-comics, and they also have quite a few links to resources about buying and making them.
another fine place to buy minis and read reviews of them is optical sloth.
size matters is a blog that reviews mini-comics, and they also have quite a few links to resources about buying and making them.
another fine place to buy minis and read reviews of them is optical sloth.
check out #3
check out ramen. but not just any ramen--check out this particular flavor, available from maruchan:

thats right baby, you want the lime chili flavor with shrimp. or, as it is alternatively called a little lower on the package, "limon chili habanero flavored".
i bought this in the 6-pack of instant cups format, available at walmart. the shrinkwrap on the package is black, to let me know that this ramen kicks ass.
ive heard that there are better brands of ramen than maruchan but a)I haven't tried them and b)I defy those companies to sell me a lime/chili-flavored ramen. until that occurs, this stuff is golden.
seriously. lime chili. spicey. limey. try it.
thats right baby, you want the lime chili flavor with shrimp. or, as it is alternatively called a little lower on the package, "limon chili habanero flavored".
i bought this in the 6-pack of instant cups format, available at walmart. the shrinkwrap on the package is black, to let me know that this ramen kicks ass.
ive heard that there are better brands of ramen than maruchan but a)I haven't tried them and b)I defy those companies to sell me a lime/chili-flavored ramen. until that occurs, this stuff is golden.
seriously. lime chili. spicey. limey. try it.
Monday
stay away #2
stay away from tideland, the latest film from terry gilliam.
dammit terry, you directed 12 monkeys and the fear and loathing adaptation. you directed baron munchasen. you make visually stunning, strange, stubbornly independent movies. i am supposed to like tideland.
i had read that this movie was controversial and that critics seemed to either love it or hate it. every time the controversial nature of the film was referenced somewhere, it came with mention of the drug use in the movie: the main character is a young girl who helps her father with the administration of his heroin dose. the shooting-up isn't really that big a component of the film, but from what i had read, you would surmise that this was the controversial bit of tideland. no problem, right?
a terry gilliam film shrouded in controversy, by its sheer weirdness and by drug-use scenes. sounds right up my alley, yes?
dammit terry. im supposed to like tideland.
i love confounding, weird-ass movies, the type where you need to watch it several times to really pick up on whats going on. i love 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind', 'donnie darko', 'waking life', that type of thing. these movies have taught me patience, and eventually each one rewarded that patience.
tideland starts out with some trademark sprawling-visual gilliam fare. soon though, we are in isolation with our main character, and the story just stalls.
my girlfriend and i made maybe 4 different attempts to watch the rest of the movie. god it is boring. i tried to be patient, and find something in the movie to latch onto, to keep my interest peaked. i came up empty.
the last time porsche and i tried to get through the film, we got pretty close by my reckoning. i was committed, very committed, to finish this damn thing. i felt like maybe the last 5 minutes or whatever would *PLEASE DEAR GOD* tie the wretched thing together.
so we're in this movie watching a little girl hang out with a lobotomized hill-person, playing make believe about submarines and sharks while they stumble around the desert. the hill person's hill-person mother has mummified the main character's father, and they are all kind of a make-shift family at this point. i feel like ive taken a lot of psychic lumps from mr gilliam to stay with the movie up to this point.
then the hill-person and the little girl start making out. then she basically asks him to show her his penis.
then tideland comes out of my dvd player and back to the rental store.
dammit terry, i am supposed to like this movie.
dammit terry, you directed 12 monkeys and the fear and loathing adaptation. you directed baron munchasen. you make visually stunning, strange, stubbornly independent movies. i am supposed to like tideland.
i had read that this movie was controversial and that critics seemed to either love it or hate it. every time the controversial nature of the film was referenced somewhere, it came with mention of the drug use in the movie: the main character is a young girl who helps her father with the administration of his heroin dose. the shooting-up isn't really that big a component of the film, but from what i had read, you would surmise that this was the controversial bit of tideland. no problem, right?
a terry gilliam film shrouded in controversy, by its sheer weirdness and by drug-use scenes. sounds right up my alley, yes?
dammit terry. im supposed to like tideland.
i love confounding, weird-ass movies, the type where you need to watch it several times to really pick up on whats going on. i love 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind', 'donnie darko', 'waking life', that type of thing. these movies have taught me patience, and eventually each one rewarded that patience.
tideland starts out with some trademark sprawling-visual gilliam fare. soon though, we are in isolation with our main character, and the story just stalls.
my girlfriend and i made maybe 4 different attempts to watch the rest of the movie. god it is boring. i tried to be patient, and find something in the movie to latch onto, to keep my interest peaked. i came up empty.
the last time porsche and i tried to get through the film, we got pretty close by my reckoning. i was committed, very committed, to finish this damn thing. i felt like maybe the last 5 minutes or whatever would *PLEASE DEAR GOD* tie the wretched thing together.
so we're in this movie watching a little girl hang out with a lobotomized hill-person, playing make believe about submarines and sharks while they stumble around the desert. the hill person's hill-person mother has mummified the main character's father, and they are all kind of a make-shift family at this point. i feel like ive taken a lot of psychic lumps from mr gilliam to stay with the movie up to this point.
then the hill-person and the little girl start making out. then she basically asks him to show her his penis.
then tideland comes out of my dvd player and back to the rental store.
dammit terry, i am supposed to like this movie.
check out #2
check out John Porcellino's King-Cat comics. John has published his own digest-size mini-comic for a long long time, 'king cat comics and stories', and sells it through his website and elsewhere. the books exude cool with their simple-yet-quality linework. john has actually published a reprint book of the best material from these minis, a book i will be looking for in the future.
Friday
check out #1
check out this awesome collection of correspondence. dan stafford wrote to several alt-comics greats, interview style, and they actually responded!
then a legitimate comics-blogger posted the link on his (much, much better than mine) blog. then i stole said link.
tom spurgeon, beelzebub has a devil put aside for me because i leech my content off of you. your blog is amazing. i am a scheister.
then a legitimate comics-blogger posted the link on his (much, much better than mine) blog. then i stole said link.
tom spurgeon, beelzebub has a devil put aside for me because i leech my content off of you. your blog is amazing. i am a scheister.
stay away #1.
stay away from the music of deana martin.
who??
deana martin.
you know dean martin, right? the italian drunk from the rat pack. that's harsh though; i really actually like dean's singing. i understand why people have a healthy respect for dean-o, and i don't begrudge the guy his spot in the history of popular music. hell, im a drunk most of the time too.
well when dean had a daughter, someone decided it'd be just fuckin cute to name her deana. like dean with an a. its not like i was around at the time, so there may be an elaborate story or underlying reason. but i can almost garantee that it was more like 'aw hell that'd be fuckin cute'.
then, later on, deana got the great idea that she'd follow in her father's footsteps and be a singer. which would have been great for everyone, except that shes a HORRIBLE singer. HORRIBLE.
deana martin songs are instantly recognizable as horrible covers of rat pack classics. it sounds like my mom singing 'amore'. which isn't a knock at my mom's singing ability, its just that mom knows, and i know, that SHES NOT A SINGER. but deana doesn't know this.
deana doesn't understand that the songs she is covering are special, and that good performances of them hinge on something special in the singers voice. dean and frank and sammy all had interesting, unique voices. they had peculiarities in their delivery. they brought a lot of feeling into these songs-thats why they became classics. the rat pack did not get their fame from doing 'by the numbers' performances.
when deana does 'memories are made of this' or 'sway me more', there's nothing special there. she's basically on-key, she hits all the notes. nothing less, NOTHING MORE. its by the numbers.
how could you not realize that a 'competent' delivery of a classic awesome song will sound like shit? it sounds like shit deana, because we know how good it can be. we know what your dad brought to a song, or what sammy davis jr or frank sinatra brought to a song. they made it shine. a competent performance will not do.
maybe if deana was doing a new song, then i wouldn't notice so much. she unfailingly chooses covers of the rat pack songs, that have already been IMMORTALIZED by stunning performances, by people she can't hope to out-do. its a losing race.
"well then wes, why do you listen to her?"
i am forced to listen to deana through the magic of a syndicated radio station known as 'the music of your life'. this is what we listen to at work, and usually its good, because they DO also run the actual classic rat pack stuff, as well as all kinds of other interesting old songs. its like nostalgia radio--they even have little bumpers with an announcer saying 'remember those great old songs you used to hear on the radio? theyre all here on the music of your life'. thats kind of the station's pitch.
again let me say, they actually do some pretty good programming. there's a lot of variety--i must have heard a billion versions of 'fly me to the moon' by now, including an instrumental samba version, and thats damn nifty.
but they do me wrong- wrong, wrong wrong- by letting deana be a deejay, and by putting her songs in the rotation.
so if you have a choice, if you can manage it, if you aren't yet scarred by the mediocre singing of deana martin, i have this advice for you:
STAY AWAY.
who??
deana martin.
you know dean martin, right? the italian drunk from the rat pack. that's harsh though; i really actually like dean's singing. i understand why people have a healthy respect for dean-o, and i don't begrudge the guy his spot in the history of popular music. hell, im a drunk most of the time too.
well when dean had a daughter, someone decided it'd be just fuckin cute to name her deana. like dean with an a. its not like i was around at the time, so there may be an elaborate story or underlying reason. but i can almost garantee that it was more like 'aw hell that'd be fuckin cute'.
then, later on, deana got the great idea that she'd follow in her father's footsteps and be a singer. which would have been great for everyone, except that shes a HORRIBLE singer. HORRIBLE.
deana martin songs are instantly recognizable as horrible covers of rat pack classics. it sounds like my mom singing 'amore'. which isn't a knock at my mom's singing ability, its just that mom knows, and i know, that SHES NOT A SINGER. but deana doesn't know this.
deana doesn't understand that the songs she is covering are special, and that good performances of them hinge on something special in the singers voice. dean and frank and sammy all had interesting, unique voices. they had peculiarities in their delivery. they brought a lot of feeling into these songs-thats why they became classics. the rat pack did not get their fame from doing 'by the numbers' performances.
when deana does 'memories are made of this' or 'sway me more', there's nothing special there. she's basically on-key, she hits all the notes. nothing less, NOTHING MORE. its by the numbers.
how could you not realize that a 'competent' delivery of a classic awesome song will sound like shit? it sounds like shit deana, because we know how good it can be. we know what your dad brought to a song, or what sammy davis jr or frank sinatra brought to a song. they made it shine. a competent performance will not do.
maybe if deana was doing a new song, then i wouldn't notice so much. she unfailingly chooses covers of the rat pack songs, that have already been IMMORTALIZED by stunning performances, by people she can't hope to out-do. its a losing race.
"well then wes, why do you listen to her?"
i am forced to listen to deana through the magic of a syndicated radio station known as 'the music of your life'. this is what we listen to at work, and usually its good, because they DO also run the actual classic rat pack stuff, as well as all kinds of other interesting old songs. its like nostalgia radio--they even have little bumpers with an announcer saying 'remember those great old songs you used to hear on the radio? theyre all here on the music of your life'. thats kind of the station's pitch.
again let me say, they actually do some pretty good programming. there's a lot of variety--i must have heard a billion versions of 'fly me to the moon' by now, including an instrumental samba version, and thats damn nifty.
but they do me wrong- wrong, wrong wrong- by letting deana be a deejay, and by putting her songs in the rotation.
so if you have a choice, if you can manage it, if you aren't yet scarred by the mediocre singing of deana martin, i have this advice for you:
STAY AWAY.
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